When I was a kid, I thought it was completely normal that my dad made dinner. He was the one who soaked the oats, cooked the dahl, and served the food. It wasn’t until I started noticing how families were portrayed in shows, movies, and even commercials that I realized, my family was different, and not just in the ways I knew.

On TV, the dads always grilled outside or ordered takeout. The moms wore aprons and looked cheerful while they made casseroles from scratch. Cooking, I learned from the media, was something that just women did. Or rather, something they were expected to do.

Contrary to the norm, in my house, it was my dad who gave me permission to see cooking as something anyone could do, not a duty tied to a gender or role, but as an act of care.

I didn’t fully realize how special that was until I read an essay by the journalist Tom Junod titled My Mom Couldn’t Cook. In it, Junod reflected on how his mother cooked out of pure obligation, absent of care or love, leaning on frozen meals and calling doctored applesauce “homemade”. He writes that he now cooks for his wife “as I wished my mother had cooked for me”(Junod), not out of tradition or obligation, but out of choice, even love.

That stuck with me.

It reminded me that the way we cook, who cooks, how we talk about it, whether it’s joyful or just another task, leaves a deep impression on those we cook for. It also made me think about how we frame that experience. Are we handing them expectations or permission? Are we teaching them that cooking is a chore, or are we showing them that it’s an act of love? And maybe the best way to explore that is with something as simple and joyful as pizza.

Ingredients

• Pizza dough
• Heaping 1/2 cup pizza sauce
• 8 ounces fresh bocconcini mozzarella, sliced
• 1/2 cup sliced cherry tomatoes
• 10 fresh basil leaves
• Red pepper flakes
• Extra-virgin olive oil, for drizzling

Instructions

1. Preheat the oven to 500°F
2. Spread the pizza sauce onto the dough
3. Top with the fresh mozzarella and tomatoes
4. Bake for 10 to 12 minutes, or until the crust is browned
5. Remove from the oven and top with fresh basil leaves and a pinch of red pepper flakes
6. Drizzle with olive oil and serve

Sources

• Donofrio, Jeannie. "Homemade Pizza." Love and Lemons, www.loveandlemons.com/homemade-pizza/. Accessed 17 May 2025.


• Junod, Tom. “My Mom Couldn't Cook.” Esquire, 21 March 2011, https://www.esquire.com/food-drink/food/a8285/moms-cooking-082410/.